Wednesday, September 29, 2004
back in Orlando
I have returned to the location of the 2004 World of Concrete conference: Orlando, Florida. It is relatively unchanged from the last time I was here, except that all of the billboards and McDonalds signs are gone. This is a welcome improvement, courtesy Hurricane Ivan/Jeanne/Frank.
Reubens Accomplice played a show here last night that was over by 9:30. I became fairly inebriated, which seems to be easy to do in Orlando, and ditched the band to hang out with Limbeck.
We followed some locals to a dollar theatre where I did something I have never done before: bought a ticket to a movie that had already been playing for 40 minutes. I would normally refuse to participate in such an adventure, but I was assured by everyone around me that because we were seeing "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle" the time that we began viewing the film was unimportant. I can confirm this to be true.
After the film I once again did something new that I would usually consider ridiculous. The locals suggested a great place to eat called "the Hospital". "Wow," I thought, "This must be a pretty interesting restaurant; it's open past midnight on Tuesdays and has a strange name, lets try it." I quickly found out that the actual name of the restaurant was "Florida Hospital" and more specifically the "Florida Hospital Cafeteria".
Eating in a hospital cafeteria demands a sullen expression, but this is difficult to achieve when drunk people are spraying ketchup all over each other. But the locals we were with insisted that what we were doing was both common and appropriate, and luckily our group did seem to be somewhat acceptable to the staff.
The food at the hospital was actually quite good and inexpensive. This may be a start of a national hospital cafeteria eating frenzy.
The ride back to the hotel was provided by a man named Randy Cooter, who told us the story of the development of his infamy. It seems he spent a good amount of time obsessively heckling, hounding and antagonizing the band Jimmy Eat World, to the point of getting letters from their lawyers and physical threats from the band members and fans. He also started rumors of the band's anti-Semitic nature, which he knew were not true, and organized protests at their shows. I am not doing his story justice here; this was no simple heckling, this was an intense assault. He gave me a check for $1 to give to Jim Adkins as an apology for any inconvenience.
Our show tonight was cancelled because St. Petersburg was destroyed by Hurricane Jeanne/Bill/Ivan. Another night in Orlando awaits.
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Reubens Accomplice played a show here last night that was over by 9:30. I became fairly inebriated, which seems to be easy to do in Orlando, and ditched the band to hang out with Limbeck.
We followed some locals to a dollar theatre where I did something I have never done before: bought a ticket to a movie that had already been playing for 40 minutes. I would normally refuse to participate in such an adventure, but I was assured by everyone around me that because we were seeing "Harold and Kumar go to White Castle" the time that we began viewing the film was unimportant. I can confirm this to be true.
After the film I once again did something new that I would usually consider ridiculous. The locals suggested a great place to eat called "the Hospital". "Wow," I thought, "This must be a pretty interesting restaurant; it's open past midnight on Tuesdays and has a strange name, lets try it." I quickly found out that the actual name of the restaurant was "Florida Hospital" and more specifically the "Florida Hospital Cafeteria".
Eating in a hospital cafeteria demands a sullen expression, but this is difficult to achieve when drunk people are spraying ketchup all over each other. But the locals we were with insisted that what we were doing was both common and appropriate, and luckily our group did seem to be somewhat acceptable to the staff.
The food at the hospital was actually quite good and inexpensive. This may be a start of a national hospital cafeteria eating frenzy.
The ride back to the hotel was provided by a man named Randy Cooter, who told us the story of the development of his infamy. It seems he spent a good amount of time obsessively heckling, hounding and antagonizing the band Jimmy Eat World, to the point of getting letters from their lawyers and physical threats from the band members and fans. He also started rumors of the band's anti-Semitic nature, which he knew were not true, and organized protests at their shows. I am not doing his story justice here; this was no simple heckling, this was an intense assault. He gave me a check for $1 to give to Jim Adkins as an apology for any inconvenience.
Our show tonight was cancelled because St. Petersburg was destroyed by Hurricane Jeanne/Bill/Ivan. Another night in Orlando awaits.
I applaud Cooter. Reminds me of the time me and my pet monkey, Professor Giggles, followed Archers of Loaf across North America. We heckled them every night. I would stand at the front of the stage shouting out things like: "Play another Big Country song, you fukin posers!!" While Professor Giggles would pull feces from his diaper and hurl it at them. One time Professor Giggles managed to get on board their tour bus and he smeared peanut butter and semen all over it!!! Good times I tell ya, good times.
wow, what a story. if only we could shed our image of making physical threats and suing people regularly. it's always tough when even those who know you don't really make the effort to separate truth from fiction. thanks ryan.
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Monday, September 27, 2004
escape from Texas
We have escaped from Texas mostly intact; only one member of the band did not make it out with us. Jeff had to escape via plane. He will be flying in to meet us tomorrow night in Orlando.
Meanwhile... John, Chris and I are driving from Houston to New Orleans for dinner. We heard about a nice little place in the French Quarter that's suppose to be good.(1) comments [+/-] show/hide the comments
Meanwhile... John, Chris and I are driving from Houston to New Orleans for dinner. We heard about a nice little place in the French Quarter that's suppose to be good.
savor it. enjoy it. smell the roses. let the wind blow through your hair. do blow.
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# posted by 
: 9/28/2004 12:54 PM
: 9/28/2004 12:54 PMSunday, September 26, 2004
I'm at Larry's apartment
Yes, it's true. We're staying with Larry in Houston tonight. I've now stayed at both Larry and Pete's house while on tour... all members of Aquanaut Drinks Coffee in all of their splendor have been officially visited. Congratulations to myself and all other humans for existing during this extraordinary event.
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I think that soon all of the members of pine wyatt need to hang out for an evening...perhaps they could just bulllshit and talk about the crazy shit that is going on in all thier lives...I realize Pete lives in Minneapolis and stuff....But I don't think a telephone conversation could hurt anyone...I miss my old drummer Pete and frequently wonder how his life is going....
and as I remember he was a pretty cool kid. My phone number in Mesa is (480) 654-8700. Pete, you should call me man. I miss you.
Love,
John Hofmann
and as I remember he was a pretty cool kid. My phone number in Mesa is (480) 654-8700. Pete, you should call me man. I miss you.
Love,
John Hofmann
# posted by : 9/27/2004 1:34 AM
: 9/27/2004 1:34 AM
What the hell Hoffman?, did you move out of the hood in PHX? Mesa? Wha wha what? Have you converted to mormanism or catholicism?
John's Jack-Mormon. He likes the finest in Mexican beer and twiddles his fingers when he sees a mic.
# posted by : 9/27/2004 10:57 AM
: 9/27/2004 10:57 AM
I miss you too John!!! I have the SLoP songs on my MP3 player and listen to them all the time while I am wandering around. I am very jealous of those kids that get to play with you cuz that shit is seriously rocking!! I often think about bailing on all this shit, heading back to AZ, picking up the sticks again and not looking back. I will give you a call for sure, and you can always see what's going on in my life by checking out http://thecougarsuk.blogspot.com and reading up on all the exciting episodes about my life in Minnesota.
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Thursday, September 23, 2004
Texas
I'm in Austin now, after an all night drive from El Paso. I slept the whole time, the most sleep I've had in weeks.
So... what do I need to report on...
Show with Ryan Adams in Tempe: Pretty good. Lots of people we're there, we played well, and it sounded good.
Las Vegas: OK. The show was at a place called Jillians, in old Vegas, on a dance floor (it was not really a club). There are 5 bands on this tour so it was amazingly hectic. I left down $10, we drove to Kingman and spent the night there.
Tucson: Good and Bad. We played and stayed at the Congress Hotel, which kicks ass, but the show wasn't that good. We played bad. Amy Ross, the female vocalist on the last Reubens Accomplice album, joined us for a song, and that was cool. That song was good. After the show was fun, I became quite inebriated and screwed around in the hotel for many hours.
El Paso: Bad, but fun. We played only songs off of Reubens Accomplices' first album and told the crowd our name was Guitar Mountain. I went to sleep in the van before the show was over.
Now I'm in Austin, we're playing at Emo's tonight. I will be sure to let you know if anything exciting happens.(2) comments [+/-] show/hide the comments
So... what do I need to report on...
Show with Ryan Adams in Tempe: Pretty good. Lots of people we're there, we played well, and it sounded good.
Las Vegas: OK. The show was at a place called Jillians, in old Vegas, on a dance floor (it was not really a club). There are 5 bands on this tour so it was amazingly hectic. I left down $10, we drove to Kingman and spent the night there.
Tucson: Good and Bad. We played and stayed at the Congress Hotel, which kicks ass, but the show wasn't that good. We played bad. Amy Ross, the female vocalist on the last Reubens Accomplice album, joined us for a song, and that was cool. That song was good. After the show was fun, I became quite inebriated and screwed around in the hotel for many hours.
El Paso: Bad, but fun. We played only songs off of Reubens Accomplices' first album and told the crowd our name was Guitar Mountain. I went to sleep in the van before the show was over.
Now I'm in Austin, we're playing at Emo's tonight. I will be sure to let you know if anything exciting happens.
i saw you in tucson and the show was awesome. what are you talking about?
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# posted by : 9/25/2004 4:41 PM
: 9/25/2004 4:41 PMSaturday, September 18, 2004
show change
Scratch that show in Pamona, we're playing here in Tempe with Ryan Adams at the Marquee Theatre on Sunday night.
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Do not ask to hear summer of 69' I hear he is sick of playing it and might commit assault and battery on your ass-(see whiskeydick.blogger.com)
whiskeydick - some idiot did yell it. and about 1.5 songs later ryan had a meltdown. embarrassing for tempe. reubens accomplice blew the roof of tha fuckin joint, though.
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# posted by : 9/20/2004 1:23 PM
: 9/20/2004 1:23 PMThursday, September 16, 2004
tour dates
I added some more dates over on the left for the Reubens Accomplice tour. We are driving straight into hurricane territory. Awesome.
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I am so excited to see Ruben's Accompolice in Houston on the 26th! Yee Haw! Wasps are invading my apartment I am kinda scared.
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Wednesday, September 15, 2004
two new Aquanaut Drinks Coffee songs for you
Monday, September 13, 2004
secret life of painters
John Hofmann has officially put up a still under construction Secret Life of Painters website. Go there now. There's a link over to the left now, too.
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Wednesday, September 08, 2004
mountain dew
For those of you who are unaware of any of my activities unrelated to music, I present to you now this tidbit of information: I write computer programs for a living. I was trained to perform this job by attending a university where I procured a computer science degree. There are many stories of strife and heartache to be told of this time period, but you do not get to hear those now. All you get is some stupid ranting about soft drinks.
It was during my time at school that I developed a strong distaste for the soft drink called "Mountain Dew". This was not due to the actual taste of the drink but instead to an associative dislike of those people who drink it. You see, computer programmers pretty much only drink Mountain Dew. One of the many ways to firmly establish yourself within the programmer community is to drink it constantly. Be sure to show up to 8:30 am class with at least a 44 oz. bucket of it, then refill the cup 4 or 5 times through the course of the day. Because I was almost continually revolted by the attitudes and way of life of my fellow programmer classmates during school, I instated complete ban on Mountain Dew consumption for myself. This act was enough to make me an unapproachable outcast.
It's been quite a while now since I started my anti-mountain dew crusade, at least 8 years or so. So you can imagine my surprise when my new roommate, who's name is also Ryan, brought home a large quantity of Mountain Dew. While usually I would be repulsed by such an act, Ryan's complete lack of technical and computer skills distances him from the stereotype enough to avoid my disdain.
I have of course avoided and ignored the cans of Mountain Dew in the fridge. But today something remarkable happened: I drank a Mountain Dew. I don't know what brought on the urge, or why I succumbed, but it happened. It wasn't that bad, a little sweet, but a tolerable beverage all the same.
Now to the point of this post: The moment I took the first sip I instantly figured out a programming problem that had been causing me trouble for days. A few gulps later and I quickly resolved another progamming issue that had been providing me great anguish. By the time I finished the shunned beverage I had completed a program that I had not thought I would finish until next week.
Can it be that Mountain Dew has some inherent property that imbues superhuman programming abilities upon the person consuming it? What have I been missing out on for the last 8 years? If I end my embargo and begin to consume it like a madman, what will happen to me? Will my wardrobe fill with Intel and Motorola shirts? Will I start tucking these new shirts in and wearing a belt everyday? Will I be trading in what little social abilities I have remaining for enhanced productivity?
Can it be that this is truly the root cause of everything that has gone wrong in my life since 1997? Oh cruel fate, you tempt and torture me with your golden elixir...(7) comments [+/-] show/hide the comments
It was during my time at school that I developed a strong distaste for the soft drink called "Mountain Dew". This was not due to the actual taste of the drink but instead to an associative dislike of those people who drink it. You see, computer programmers pretty much only drink Mountain Dew. One of the many ways to firmly establish yourself within the programmer community is to drink it constantly. Be sure to show up to 8:30 am class with at least a 44 oz. bucket of it, then refill the cup 4 or 5 times through the course of the day. Because I was almost continually revolted by the attitudes and way of life of my fellow programmer classmates during school, I instated complete ban on Mountain Dew consumption for myself. This act was enough to make me an unapproachable outcast.
It's been quite a while now since I started my anti-mountain dew crusade, at least 8 years or so. So you can imagine my surprise when my new roommate, who's name is also Ryan, brought home a large quantity of Mountain Dew. While usually I would be repulsed by such an act, Ryan's complete lack of technical and computer skills distances him from the stereotype enough to avoid my disdain.
I have of course avoided and ignored the cans of Mountain Dew in the fridge. But today something remarkable happened: I drank a Mountain Dew. I don't know what brought on the urge, or why I succumbed, but it happened. It wasn't that bad, a little sweet, but a tolerable beverage all the same.
Now to the point of this post: The moment I took the first sip I instantly figured out a programming problem that had been causing me trouble for days. A few gulps later and I quickly resolved another progamming issue that had been providing me great anguish. By the time I finished the shunned beverage I had completed a program that I had not thought I would finish until next week.
Can it be that Mountain Dew has some inherent property that imbues superhuman programming abilities upon the person consuming it? What have I been missing out on for the last 8 years? If I end my embargo and begin to consume it like a madman, what will happen to me? Will my wardrobe fill with Intel and Motorola shirts? Will I start tucking these new shirts in and wearing a belt everyday? Will I be trading in what little social abilities I have remaining for enhanced productivity?
Can it be that this is truly the root cause of everything that has gone wrong in my life since 1997? Oh cruel fate, you tempt and torture me with your golden elixir...
Careful there champ. Soda Pop is like asprin for a hangover and Mt. Dew is Excedrin. Use only when the most perplexing of issues confronts you.
Last time I needed Excedrin I was on a 4 day roller coaster ride complete with a daylight, poolside crack extravaganza and nights inhaling Hash. I was also drowning my sorrow by drinking Seven & Seven's like I was Tom Selleck vying for the role of Indiana Jones. Anyway I woke up on the fifth day stranded in the middle of the Mojave desert. As I walked toward a dust cloud, I thought was a town, Istarted sneezing blood and not sneezing a fine mist. I'm talking buckets. Stay off The Mt. Dew unless absolutly necessary.
Last time I needed Excedrin I was on a 4 day roller coaster ride complete with a daylight, poolside crack extravaganza and nights inhaling Hash. I was also drowning my sorrow by drinking Seven & Seven's like I was Tom Selleck vying for the role of Indiana Jones. Anyway I woke up on the fifth day stranded in the middle of the Mojave desert. As I walked toward a dust cloud, I thought was a town, Istarted sneezing blood and not sneezing a fine mist. I'm talking buckets. Stay off The Mt. Dew unless absolutly necessary.
if you finish art150.com there's 2 cases of the dew with your name on it
# posted by : 9/08/2004 5:39 PM
: 9/08/2004 5:39 PM
dude, dont do it. why sell out now? mountain dew is not real. drink water. if you need this ridiculous substance to do anything you are weak my son. stay strong. fuck these huge corporate soda companies who rape our children. plus its bad for your teeth and your liver.
# posted by : 9/08/2004 6:25 PM
: 9/08/2004 6:25 PM
Tom Selleck actually GOT the role of Indiana Jones! Harrison ford was second in line. But conflicting schedules and the rising populatiry of Magnum PI kept Sellick from shooting Indiana Jones and Harrison Ford got the part.
In other news, there are rumors of a new Magnum PI MOVIE!!! With Tom Sellick in the lead!!! I keep my fingers crossed. I don't drink soft drinks. If I need a jump I go for ice tea.
In other news, there are rumors of a new Magnum PI MOVIE!!! With Tom Sellick in the lead!!! I keep my fingers crossed. I don't drink soft drinks. If I need a jump I go for ice tea.
insanely jealous right now. I quit all carbonation this week and just reading this made me want one..really..bad. I <3 mtn dew. and because i typed <3 instead of love, means i really do.
# posted by : 9/10/2004 12:27 AM
: 9/10/2004 12:27 AM
Back in '96, I lived with a diet coke junkie who was also a first year law student. She got us all on the junk along with her - all 7 housemates. It never stops with the soda though. Four of us ended up in law school before she graduated. Diet Coke ruined me. Pick your beverages carefully.
Ryan, I love your website. I can really relate to the Mountain Dew thing, I remember when John was addicted to the shit. My thing is and will remain until death do us part, MGD. Miller Genuine Draft. It does the job, and I sleep like a baby. Keep up the good work. I watched the tape the other day of Pine Wyatt when you played for Jewel's wedding. WOW!! What a sorry bunch of country western shit heads you were, but your hearts were in the right place. I love you Ryan....John's Mom you know who I am, and You know I know WHO YOU ARE!!! Love, Sunny
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# posted by : 9/22/2004 11:17 PM
: 9/22/2004 11:17 PMnew tour dates
I just put up the first few dates of the next Reubens Accomplice tour over on the left. After those Texas dates we head all the way over to Florida. I'll put the rest up soon.
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Monday, September 06, 2004
I'm in Albuquerque
That's right... Albuquerque. We played with Minus the Bear and The Statistics last night at the Launchpad and the night before in Phoenix at Modified. We copied Sebadoh and used pre-recorded drums both nights, but we added in things like stings and banjos and pianos. It was fun, but I miss John (our drummer). That's now four shows that Reubens Accomplice has played without him in the last two weeks. It's getting boring. I love the drums.
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Friday, September 03, 2004
I am slow
Seriously. The Secret Life of Painters website should have been done many moons ago. I'm partway done, but I have to do all of this "work" stuff before I can get to it. I think that's my excuse.
In addition to being slow, I'm really pretty stupid when it comes to creating websites. You would think that writing computer programs for 9 hours a day, 7 days a week would qualify me as being able to do anything at all on a computer without the slightest bit of difficulty; but alas, this is not the case.
Anyway, there's lots to do. I'm turning the 2 car garage in my new house into a rehearsal space/studio area, making websites, working 50+ hours a week, playing shows (at modified tomorrow night, in Albuquerque Sunday night), taking care of a 2 year old 25+ hours a week, sleeping every once and a while, touring sometimes, eating lots of food, smoking tons of cigarettes, listening to construction vehicles beep as they back up, running out of minutes on my cell phone, drinking too much coffee, and extending sentences well beyond an appropriate length.
Don't you worry though, I'll get the Secret Life of Painters site done soon.
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In addition to being slow, I'm really pretty stupid when it comes to creating websites. You would think that writing computer programs for 9 hours a day, 7 days a week would qualify me as being able to do anything at all on a computer without the slightest bit of difficulty; but alas, this is not the case.
Anyway, there's lots to do. I'm turning the 2 car garage in my new house into a rehearsal space/studio area, making websites, working 50+ hours a week, playing shows (at modified tomorrow night, in Albuquerque Sunday night), taking care of a 2 year old 25+ hours a week, sleeping every once and a while, touring sometimes, eating lots of food, smoking tons of cigarettes, listening to construction vehicles beep as they back up, running out of minutes on my cell phone, drinking too much coffee, and extending sentences well beyond an appropriate length.
Don't you worry though, I'll get the Secret Life of Painters site done soon.
I am bringing a care package for you in a brown bag that I will dutifully leave at your front door step. I will ring the doorbell twice and run real fast. Then I will drive by and yell expletives. Rest assured, they will “encourage” you to speed it up.
From:
“El Guapo” of Los Pintadorers Secretos de Vida Loca
Vaya Con Dios
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From:
“El Guapo” of Los Pintadorers Secretos de Vida Loca
Vaya Con Dios
# posted by : 9/03/2004 4:55 PM
: 9/03/2004 4:55 PM